Life skills

eHarmony Got it Right

Now, I may be revealing a bit too much about myself by commenting on eHarmony. But they have some things going right for them and their clientele. One being the question, “What are three of your best life skills?” The question yanks our narrow hyper focus from “what do I want?” to “what do I bring to the table?”
Responsibility is carefully woven into this question. As I was pondering gratitude and contentment this morning, my thoughts moved swiftly from those tangible objects for which I’m grateful (and this includes people) to a sense that I have something to offer the world around me and that I am solely responsible for the sharing.
“Do you remember that girl from high school?” I asked a friend this morning.
“Of course- check her out on my FB friends list,” he retorted.
I did, and sent her a message of thanks. Because, whenever I think of a confident woman, I remember her. She once shared with me that she’d taken self-assertiveness class and that it taught her to be sure of herself and what she had to offer people. It showed, and I’ve never forgotten her example. She unabashedly shared her creativity through her avant-garde wardrobe and wildly changing hairstyles, and the look of self-ease in her eyes was unbeatable.

Moving in and out among people is something we do on a daily basis. Crowds on the sidewalk, a meeting room full of co workers, the line at the restaurant, those people we see at home if we’re really lucky. Many speeches have been made reminding us not to be so self-focused that we don’t even notice passers-by. I think many of us are moving past the “not-noticing.” We look at faces, we observe, we imagine what it might be like to know that stranger. But what I want to say today is that, instead of looking around for someone who has something to offer us, it is good to be self-focused enough to contemplate what we have to offer those in our midst. This is life-giving, depression-busting, and a great way to overcome insecurities so many of us are plagued with.
So, what are your three best life skills? Making people laugh? Helping around the house? Managing finances? Making art to inspire? Write them down. Keep them on your desktop. Remember what you have to offer. Imbue your holiday gift-giving with gifts of yourself, your time, your attention and your love. We will all be richer for it.
So, do tell me: What *are* your three best life skills?

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5 thoughts on “eHarmony Got it Right

  1. You are so right with the way you are seeing things! That was a wonderful short piece that spoke volumes. I am sure that the "person" you wrote to say thanks to, that it will make her day and she will be forever grateful to you for remembering her in such a positive way. 1) positive attitude2) like helping others3) wants to make a difference somehow

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  2. Thanks so much for your comments! It is true that the Relationship Questionnaire is designed to make people think about what they are bringing to the table. We hope to encourage people to think about these things to build more healthy relationships. We appreciate your insights and thoughts. – Jack

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  3. Your blogs are so uplifting. Sorry you didn't make it to Nashville Cooks on Tues. We had a Caesar Salad demo from the owner of Coco's Italian Market. They have the best brunch dishes. You must try them.

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  4. Wow! Another amazing post. Such insight that isn't preachy but really encourages us to think, not just about ourselves but about others and how we can be of service to them. Hmmm . . . sounds like a certain Savior and Redeemer I know.Thanks for your thoughtful words.

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